For an assignment, I had to analyze some songs, only these songs are universally accepted as a few of the worst songs of all time. Why do they suck? Let's drill down and find out...
(Also, if you're so inclined, you can click the links to each song title to listen to it. Proceed with caution.)
The Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum) by Cheeky Girls
Listening Phase 1 (Rhythm)
Source: A couple of synthesizers, as well as a
computer-generated clapping sound. The vocals consist of two, slightly
auto-tuned altos.
Time/Tempo Common time (4/4), 130 beats
per minute
Groove The background music lacks
personality. The only interesting thing about it is the bass driving it. People
will dance to it… if they’re drunk.
Listening Phase 2 (Arrangement)
Instrumentation Mainly synthesizers, with the
occasional drums.
Structure/Organization
Starts with an
introduction, then the first verse, then the chorus. Following the first chorus
is a bridge, then a repeat of the first verse, then another bridge, and the
last chorus.
Emotional
Architecture The
song’s architecture was stagnant. It kept the same beat, with no changes until
the last bridge.
Listening Phase 3 (Sound Quality)
Balance
-
Height Typically
low, especially considering that the two lead singers are probably altos (lower
female vocal part.) Bass is apparent but isn’t very low. I definitely didn’t
need my headphones to play the beat. The high-frequency parts were the treble
synth and the bass synth. A narrow height, but par for the course for most pop
songs.
-
Width The only time audio panning
is used is during the cymbal hits preceding the chorus. Other than that, the
song has the same width.
Surrounded in Silence by Design the Skyline
Listening Phase 1 (Rhythm)
Source: Plenty of synthesizers, as well as various electric
guitars and a drum kit.
Time/Tempo The song fluctuates
frequently from 4/4 time to less common time signatures, such as 6/8 and maybe
even 9/8. It’s hard to tell. The tempo also fluctuates around 130 BPM.
Groove The introductory groove has
a unique vibe to it, definitely indicative of the experimental nature of Design
the Skyline. However, it does not prepare you for what’s to come. These synths
come in later to create mass discord in the song. The screaming doesn’t help,
either. This is definitely not a song
you would dance to, but with the fluctuating tempo and
Listening Phase 2 (Arrangement)
Instrumentation Two vocalists, a drum kit,
two electric guitars, and a synthesizer.
Structure/Organization
An introduction is
played, and then something else is. As far as I can tell, it’s not a chorus,
especially since no chunk of the lyrics is repeated. In the middle of this
hysteria, there is a singing (!) part, with fewer instruments. This is the
bridge.
Emotional
Architecture Based
on the musicality of this song, the introduction is a somewhat calm, somewhat
introspective piece. Sounds like something you may listen to with your eyes
closed. The next part is the musical equivalent of a drunkard beating his wife:
Confused, angry, yet emotionally charged. Yet, there’s one part that has a
touch of grace due to it’s use of singing, but it keeps those screams and hard
drum beats that deathcore fans (probably) crave.
Listening Phase 3 (Sound Quality)
Balance
-
Height Mainly
high frequency, even the guitars at most points are high. But, there are parts
where the vocalists (if you can even call them that) scream in a very low
pitch. The guitars follow suit. There are also very high synthesizer parts
peppered through the piece (alliteration was absolutely intended, if you were
wondering).
-
Width Audio panning is wisely used
in the introduction in order to create a sense of immersion, but most of that
is thrown out the windows once the actual
song starts. However, some synth parts pan rarely throughout the rest of
the song.
-
Depth
There are two vocalists,
drums, electric guitars, and a synthesizer part. In most of the song, there are
only these four layers, but in some parts multiple synthesizer parts are
stacked, creating multiple layers.
The Millennium Prayer by Keith Richards
Listening Phase 1 (Rhythm)
Source: Drums and a synthesizer.
Time/Tempo This song is in 6/8 time,
with a solid 93 beats per minute.
Groove Definitely tries to be an
epic gospel number but fails to pull me out of my seat. Instead, it seems
stereotypical and tacky—just some soft-singing Caucasian male with a mediocre
choir backing him. The a capella bridge segment is pretty neat, but other than
that, The Millennium Prayer is bland
and lacks uniqueness. It’s just the same old gospel groove that’s been through
the copy machine for decades.
Listening Phase 2 (Arrangement)
Instrumentation Lead and backing vocals,
with drums, a synthesizer, and the occasional violin and trumpet.
Structure/Organization
An introduction plays
first, then the chorus. After that, it’s the bridge, then the chorus one more
time. A repeating “Amen, amen, amen” closes the song.
Emotional
Architecture The
song as a whole is attempting to emulate the typical gospel song, but adding a
sort of ethereal/godly feel with the violin and builds on it slightly.
Otherwise, the song is emotionally stable. It rarely deviates from what was
initially established.
Listening Phase 3 (Sound Quality)
Balance
-
Height This
song has almost no low frequency at all. Throughout the piece, the frequency
remains high. The only part that sounds relatively low is the synth.
-
Width There is little sense of
width. The song does not utilize any sense of panning, therefore keeping the
same spatial sense in your ears.
-
Depth
There are two layers
of vocals (lead and backing), as well as drums, a synthesizer, and the
occasional violin and trumpet. At any given time, up to four of these layers
are utilized.
